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Lisa Simpson Neglected, Politically Correct Prodigy

For: Pony rights, Vegetarianism, The Corey Hotline, Longer school days

Against: Meat, Universal Injustice, Malibu Stacey, Whacking Day, Laramie Cigarettes

Mentor: The late Bleeding Gums Murphy


Lisa Simpson takes after both her parents: she has Marge's common sense, hard work ethic and sympathy for others; she has Homer's last name. Lisa's enormous intelligence and moral authority place her in a unique position in the Simpson family -- and, for that matter, Springfield at large.

Each parents' night at Springfield Elementary, Homer and Marge fight to meet with Lisa's teachers rather than Bart's on the theory that being offered a tin of cookies as thanks is less "upsetting" and "costly" than reviewing quarterly property damage assessments for melted playground equipment. This second grader also plays the saxophone with the virtuosity, if not stubble, of Springfield's late blues great, Bleeding Gums Murphy.

For the record, Lisa says she watches TV only for "The MacNeil-Lehrer Report" -- particularly since it expanded to one hour -- and any Masterpiece Theatre serialization of wordy British novels. In truth, however, she is always willing to interrupt a piercing MacNeil-Lehrer roundtable whenever her beloved "Itchy and Scratchy" cartoons are on TV. Her deep love for cartoon characters proves that, no matter how precocious she may be, Lisa is still a Simpson.

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